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Shameless 3×05 “The Sins of My Caretaker” Recap

We left off last week with the entire Gallagher house finding out a dirty, dirty secret…

Jimmy (Justin Chatwin) is still reeling over the revelation that his dad is gay, and the fact that he’s been sleeping with Fiona’s younger brother Ian (Cameron Monaghan) for months. He wants Fiona (Emmy Rossum) to be more invested in his emotional crisis, but in Fiona Gallagher’s world it adds up to Rich Kid Problems. Everyone, including Steve Howey’s Kevin and Shanola Hampton’s Veronica – and us to be quite honest – agrees with Fiona.

That woman has way bigger fish to fry.

This week she has to deal with Aunt Ginger’s body (whom Frank, played by William H. Macy, buried in the backyard all those years ago), the ladies at work giving her a difficult time (she can’t afford to lose her job at the supermarket), and oh yeah… raising five kids hand-to-mouth since she was 15 years old.

Fed up with Fiona’s lack of concern, Jimmy turns to Este for comfort. Refer to our “Worst Couples on TV” list for why Fiona/Jimmy are one of the worst couples on television.

Clearly, Fiona deserves a better guy. He’s been lying to her about Este (Stephanie Fantauzzi) this whole time and because she doesn’t have the time to deal with his daddy issues in the middle of digging up a dead body, he goes and fucks somebody else?

Nu-uh. Fuck you, Steve. Jimmy. Whatever your name is. Fiona deserves better.

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Lip and Mandy

Lip’s (Jeremy Allen White) issues over Karen rear their ugly head as Mandy (Emma Greenwell) tries to get closer to him throughout the episode. He eventually snaps at her, telling her to go home “to your own fucking house for once.” Ian isn’t pleased by Lip’s behavior towards Mandy, proclaiming himself as her best friend and that Lip needs to pull his head out of his ass and stop being such a jerk.

Eventually, after leaving an emotion-filled rant on Karen’s answering machine, Lip does go to apologize to Mandy. They share a comfortably romantic night by the train tracks.

Hopefully he’s gotten over his Karen issues now and he can stop being such a dickwad. But oh my god, what if all this Karen-talk means she’s gonna come back for the finale episode?

Ian and Mickey

Everyone’s favorite topic.

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We can hear the flailing fangirls all the way from here.

Yep, that’s right. The dirtiest white boy in America kissed Ian after yet another jealousy-fueled conversation about Jimmy’s dad Ned (Harry Hamlin), where Ian said “at least he isn’t afraid to kiss me”. We all saw it coming a mile away.

Okay, okay, so it was a pretty cute kiss. The fact that it seemed to be a spontaneous action on Mickey’s (Noel Fisher) part kept it relatively in character, and Ian’s face afterwards was adorable. The post-makeout bliss doesn’t last for long, though, because they’re in the middle of robbing Ned’s house when Ned’s wife comes barreling out with a shotgun.

And then she shoots Mickey in the ass. Ned has to do surgery on him to get the shotgun shells out. We don’t know if it’s supposed to be funny, but it is. It really, really is.


Meanwhile, Debbie (Emma Kenney) is being bullied by some Mean Girls at the local pool. The bullying comes to a head when they put ketchup on Debbie’s chair, publically humiliating her by making everyone think she got her period. Poor Debbie cries in the bathroom while Fiona gives her a pep talk, trying to cheer her up.

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Photo: Showtime

“Some girls are just jerks. Like that chick at the store yesterday. Did I deserve that? No. But did I take her shit? No way. Cause I’m better than that, and so are you. Nobody fucks with the Gallaghers.

And then it’s back to business, because they still have a dead body to dig up.

Debbie later gets her revenge by nearly drowning a girl, probably channeling Carl’s minorly sociopathic behavior during that scene. Yikes.

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Debbie channeling her inner Patrick Bateman from “American Psycho”


Frank tells Carl (Ethan Cutkosky) near the beginning of the episode that he doesn’t have cancer anymore, so at least that’s resolved and Carl doesn’t have to suffer thinking he’s sick when he’s really not. Instead, this week, Carl learns about gay sex from a variety of reliable and not-so-reliable sources.

Kev and Veronica

The happily married couple is still on the baby-making train, but the bad news is that V has about a 0.0001% chance of actually getting pregnant. They discuss the various possibilities, and it all leads to surrogacy. Fiona’s out of the equation, immediately. “Too white,” V explains.

Eventually, they turn to V’s mother, who agrees to help them out as long as she’s not charged with taking care of the thing.

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Jody and Sheila

Jody (Zach McGowan) and Sheila (Joan Cusack) make us really uncomfortable… Sheila forces a poor, dying nun to listen to sordid tales about her and Jody’s sex life. And then, when she finds out the nun was blogging about her, she decides to ditch the poor, dying nun in the middle of some random street.

That poor, dying nun. Rest in (soon to be) peace.

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The dildos seem to have reawakened a sexual fire in Jody. Sheila is less than pleased. Photo: Showtime

Frank reported the family to Social Services in a previous episode. Bartender Lady watches him do it then disgustedly tells him, “That is an all-time low” but proceeds to do nothing about it.

(Sidebar: UGH. This is just like that time when she watched Frank prick little Hymie with a thumbtack just so he didn’t have to take him to the doctor’s, and then she – and everyone else in that bar – did absolutely nothing about it.)

This action comes back to haunt the Gallagher family.

Fiona, now digging alone in the yard, finally finds the dead body and is ecstatic about one of her problems being solved. And then Social Services arrives, just as Ned is operating on Mickey on the kitchen counter and Debbie bursts in telling everyone about how she nearly drowned someone.


We really enjoyed this episode. It was a huge improvement from last week’s “The Helpful Gallaghers” but not quite as good as “May I Trim Your Hedges?”. However, Emmy Rossum kicked ass, acting-wise – as she usually does. If she isn’t nominated for an Emmy soon, it’ll be a huge injustice.

The preview shows the Gallagher kids dealing with Social Services and Fiona struggling to get them back. And there are new developments on the Ian and Mickey front, as well. So look out for that.

Memorable Quotes

Carl: So it’s like one penis goin’ into another penis?
Friend: Of course. When gay dudes get horny, their pee holes open.

Kev: No one wants to hear a grown man whine. It’s like the verbal equivalent of a dude wearing Uggs.

Kev: I don’t know, V. At some point we might have to accept that it’s not meant to be.
Veronica: Not meant to be? Was I meant to get an STD at seventeen from some lame ass rapper that would trash my tubes? Was I meant to google him all afternoon to find out he has eight kids? Was I meant to friend him on facebook to write on his wall some psychotic rant about how he ruined my life?!
Kev: Baby, it’s okay –
Veronica: No! It’s not! Fuck his weak ass rhymes, fuck that tree frog lookin’ doctor, and fuck all that fuckin’ money I spent on condoms for the last twenty years, and fuck you for acting like you don’t wanna fight harder for this!

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Rating: B

Shameless airs every Sunday at 9 PM on SHOWTIME®.