Single Review: Sia’s “Chandelier” Sounds Like Rihanna (If Rihanna Could Sing Like Sia)

Sia is returning the favor.

A year and a half after Rihanna does Sia doing Sia’s hit “Diamonds,” Sia hits back with “Chandelier,” in which Sia does Rihanna doing Rihanna if Rihanna could sing like Sia.

If you can make it through the first verse, during which you’ll find yourself thinking things such as “What in the world is she saying?” or “Was she drunk when she recorded this?” to “OMG Sia’s having a stroke!” you’ll find an immense chorus, with some massive belting which Sia quickly flips into an awesome falsetto that’ll give you chills. It’s all so instant and is an admirable bid for Sia to finally become a household name, rather than that chick with the bangs that wrote the best songs on Christina Aguilera’s Bionic*.

The only other issue with “Chandelier” is there lacks a proper bridge, which is becoming all too common in modern pop music, and a respected, talented writer like Sia should be ashamed at the laziness of it all. Take us there Sia!

In the end, Sia has given us a party song that doesn’t feel like a party song. So to that I say: “Party on, Sia!”

Listen to “Chandelier” above.

*Seriously, if you haven’t heard the Sia songs on Aguilera’s Bionic, you’re doing yourself a disservice. Listen here and here.

Music Video: Miley Cyrus Loves Only Herself in “Adore You” Clip

Finally, Miley Cyrus has released a feel-good video that families can gather around the computer screen and watch in harmony. Not really, but wouldn’t that have been shocking?

Instead, we get Miley writhing in a tub (again!), Miley in a bra and panties (again!), and Miley masturbating, thankfully only with her hand, giving that poor sledgehammer a break. It all results in a big, fat yawn for what is a beautiful ode to love from one of the best pop albums this year. Pop music is a fickle land, Miley, so it may be time to change it up. Because right now you’re not even a one-trick pony, you’re just a trick.