This week on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Jake’s boss-ass penguin coworkers help him get over his break-up by staging a coup of the Homeland Security’s terrorism drill. Invited because of their high scores in their own drill in “Tactical Village“, The NYPD soon realize that although they’ve been invited, they’re not exactly appreciated.
Nick Kroll leads the drill as a perfectly obnoxious Homeland Security agent, looking pleased as he announces that they NYPD (aka those plebs that aren’t invited to the Pentagon Christmas dinners) were only invited to be the hostages. Their job is to sit and be tied up, waiting for rescue by the bigger and better agents.
Of course, Jake (Andy Samberg) being Jake, doesn’t stay sitting for long. And Boyle (Joe Lo Truglio), in his role of unquestioning best friend, is right there behind him. And so is Terry (Terry Crews), after a comment is made about his weight.
So what was an official counter-terrorism drill soon turns into an all-out Die Hard paintball war reenactment. Unfortunately, in the end, Jake turns out to be the Gruber, rather than his hero, John McClane.
But before Kroll shoots Jake down, what we get to see is a Community-esque paintball battle, where hostages become terrorists and Amy (Melissa Fumero), attempting to get more kills than Rosa (Stephanie Beatriz), shoots her own squad member.
Amy and Rosa, both vying for an upcoming Saturday off, fight for it by attempting to gain the most ‘kills.’ Before this suggestion, Amy thinks leaving the hostage chair is irresponsible, but after Jake suggests the bet, she’s ready to play. It’s a reaction that fits Amy’s character a lot better than her supposedly being a pushover, an idea that was put forward in “Stakeout.” Amy’s a textbook rule-follower, but she’s also obsessively competitive. Something that leads to her shooting down Rosa after they tie in an attempt to win their bet.
Holt (Andre Braugher), meanwhile, lets Gina (Chelsea Peretti) conduct a psychological experiment on him, something that goes downhill when he realizes that he and Gina have scored in the same group. He and Gina? Sharing similarities? Holt can’t take not being in a league of his own, so he attempts to prove the test wrong. If anyone’s showing similarities in “Windbreaker City,” it’s not Holt and Gina, but Holt and Amy, instead.
In the end, Amy gives Rosa the Saturday off. Because in shooting Rosa, she proved that she doesn’t really need to go to a Ted Talk about power posing (although I would really love to see that, Brooklyn Nine-Nine). In return, Rosa tells Amy her real reasons behind dinner with her parents: she’s introducing them to her boyfriend, Marcus (Nick Cannon). Rosa has feelings! Amy gets to see them! It’s all really very sweet.
As for Jake, even though he and the NYPD technically lose the competition, he’s more upbeat because of it; even feeling positive enough to drop off Sophia’s things without coordinating a meeting. But, because this is television, he runs into her (Eva Longoria) anyway, and they have a quick goodbye, one that’s full (like the rest of this episode) of Die Hard references. To each other, their jobs both make them the Grubers. It just goes to show that everybody wants to be the hero of their own story, however impractical that idea may be.
Thankfully, Jake, Amy and Holt are happy with smaller things: rising from the position of hostage, executing a badass plan and being a good leader. Like the NYPD’s position themselves this episode, our characters don’t win anything in “Windbreaker City,” but they do pretty damn good.
- “‘Uh-oh I hope it doesn’t get too sexual’ — the title of your next sex tape. But seriously, what is taking so long? Also the title of your sex tape.”
- “You don’t even like your parents! You call them smiley morons and hug freaks.” “Plans are plans. I’m a badass, not an anarchist.”
- “They do call me ‘Tenacious Ray’ down at the country club. Because for the last ten years I’ve been suing them for discrimination.” That joke did not end where I thought it was going to.
- TERRY’S ASS IS NOT FAT!
- Hitchcock needs some gas medicine: “I think there was some dairy in that cheesecake that I ate for breakfast.”
- Boyle’s indignation when Jake tried to say that he had other friends was precious.
- Do you think we’ll see Sophia in court anytime soon? I get the feeling that maybe, in a few seasons, she might reappear.