“Abbie and Ichabod’s search for a missing child leads to the discovery of a demonic Pied Piper whose ties to the tot’s family go back centuries.”
Because this show is apparently trying to kill me with cuteness, “Go Where I Send Thee” basically starts off with Abbie trying to teach Ichabod modern day life skills, like how to drive a car — not that she needs to because he’s been taking some hardcore stunt driving lessons from Jenny. Abbie screaming for her life while Ichabod gleefully spins around in the parking lot is the best thing I’ve ever seen. My amusement dies down a little when Ichabod calls Abbie out on her reasoning for why he needs to learn all these skills; she thinks if he doesn’t, when she dies she’d be leaving him more or less helpless in this new world. Ichabod assures her that whatever their fate, they’ll be facing it together, because soul mates.
Shortly after, Abbie is called onto the case of a missing ten year old girl, Sara Lancaster-Weiss, who we had seen a glimpse of at the beginning of the episode wandering into the woods in the middle of the night. Abbie knows the girl’s family personally – Sara’s mother had been Abbie’s case worker back when Abbie and her sister were thrown into foster care – and she promises she’ll do her best to get Sara back home safely.
Abbie and Ichabod search the woods near the house and find some blood but no other trails, until Abbie finds a flute made out of bone. Ichabod starts playing on it, musing on the odd chord structure, while Abbie is immediately thrown into some sort of trance and starts walking into the lake. Ichabod catches her in time and realizes what they’re up against: a Pied Piper.
They come up with a plan: record the flute on a cell phone, play the sound back in short intervals, and let Abbie lead them to where Sara is with minimal risk of Abbie getting hurt or anyone else in the area hearing the entrancing music. Yay technology!
The plan is sort of successful, at least until they stumble upon Hawley all roughed up and bloodied instead of Sara or the Pied Piper. Turns out Hawley knows even more about this case than either Abbie or Ichabod, despite not believing in any of the supernatural.
Hawley explains that he was on a “job” looking for the bone flute when he saw Sara wandering around, but when he tried to stop her, someone attacked him. He’d known the Pied Piper, or rather, someone masquerading as him, would be out and about due to the curse on the Lancaster family where the Piper would lure a Lancaster daughter out on her tenth birthday to use her bones to make his instruments. He says they still have time to save Sara because the Piper’s M.O. is to kill via exposure, but they have to act quick.
Abbie sticks her headphones in again and lets the music lead them to an underground tunnel system. They find Sara alive, and Abbie works on getting her free while Hawley and Ichabod fight off the Pied Piper. Hawley explodes the tunnels behind them as they make their escape, but refuses to help them any further and demands the flute as his payment before flouncing off.
After safely delivering Sara to her family, Abbie and Ichabod head off to their big battle against the Pied Piper, but not before making a horrifying realization: part of the curse on the Lancasters is, if the Piper is denied his “prize” he kills all of the children in the family. It’s possible that Sara’s mother, knowing this, had chosen to sacrifice one daughter to save the rest of her children.
They arrive at the Lancaster home to find that the children have already fallen ill, and that Sara and her mother have disappeared, presumably to the woods where Sara will be offered up to the Piper once again. Ichabod steals the family sword before he and Abbie rush off to find Sara. They find the Lancasters just in time to talk Mama Lancaster down from doing something terrible, and together they manage to destroy the Pied Piper once and for all.
While all of this is going on, poor Frank Irving is still stuck in Tarrytown Psychiatric Hospital. After confronting his so-called lawyer with what Ichabod had revealed to him last episode, Irving is left with a difficult choice: let Parrish/Jeremy/War get him out of prison and possibly become used as a pawn of evil in the war, or leave his family in the lurch financially and emotionally. Parrish even goes a step further, asking Irving if his “friends” ever actually did anything to help his family, or if they just brought pain and misery to them. Also he lets Irving know he accidentally sold his soul to the devil. Oops?
Hawley makes a brief return at the end of the episode, finalizing his deal with the evil-flute-artifact buyer. Said buyer then takes the flute to, you guessed it, Henry Parrish, who pulverizes the bone into dust, tastes it (ick) and says, “It’s perfect.”
Ichabod: I have faced many enemies on horseback, horsemen without heads, even discovered my own son is the apocalyptic Horseman of War. Thus, how challenging must it be to guide the power of 300 horses using only one’s right foot? [revs engine]
Ichabod: Let us release our own Horseman.
Ichabod: You can drop the facade leftenant. I’m all too aware of why you insist I learn these skills. But hear me, Grace Abigail Mills: it is not our fate for one of us to bury the other. We shall be victorious or defeated, together.
Abbie: Sometimes people get caught in the path of a storm, and there’s nothing they can do but wait for it to pass over them. But know that it will pass.
Ichabod: I’d like to see you try bringing a cello onto the battlefield.
Hawley: Is it gonna haunt me? Definitely. That’s why god created the shot glass.
Mama Lancaster: He takes one child, or the curse takes them all. Haven’t you ever prayed for something from your past to just go away? Refuse to believe that it’s true?
Irving: A lie of omission is still a lie. You are the biblical Horseman of War, you didn’t think that was relevant?
Comments + Verdict
- This week on Ichabod Crane vs. the 21st century: noise canceling earbuds, “log in ceremony,” overpriced yet delicious coffee
- I am relishing the novelty of someone other than Ichabod giving us historical exposition
- Hawley’s little nicknames for Ichabod are priceless. “Pride and Prejudice,” “Shakespeare,” honestly
- Has Ichabod talked about his aversion to mercenaries before Hawley showed up? Is the show milking this because of Ichabbie shippers? The vehemence of Ichabod’s opposition to the guy every time he appears feels unnecessarily intense to me even for a moralistic dude up against a dude with zero morals. Just use him for his skill sets then drop him, I say
- It really should not count if you accidentally sell your soul.