in Movies, Television, Video Games

Trailers of the Week: ‘The Equalizer,’ ‘The Strain,’ ‘Hemlock Grove’

The Equalizer

I love me some Denzel Washington. And even though The Equalizer kinda looks like the typical “vengeful crusader goes on blood-soaked mission to save a usually female innocent/loved one” film à la Taken, Taken 2, and probably Taken 3, it’s a vengeful crusader film that stars Denzel Washington, so I’m already sold.

Adapted from an ’80s TV series of the same name, The Equalizer follows retired black ops commando Robert McCall as he tries to save a young girl (Chloë Grace Moretz) from Russian mafia members, particularly a vicious fixer named Teddy (Marton Csokas). The sound effects and fight scenes in the trailer alone are squeal-worthy. The stopwatch gimmick on the other hand is gonna get old fast if they overdo it, but for now it, too, is squeal-worthy.

The Equalizer hits theaters September 26, 2014.

The Congress

If the concept of this film is a little “out there” (it’s set in an alternate universe of lead actress Robin Wright’s life where her career stagnated after The Princess Bride), the trailer for The Congress is like ridiculously “out there.” It’s also gorgeous. Half live action and half animated, the film has AU!Robin Wright selling the rights to her digital self to a studio in order to take care of her ailing son. What follows is kinda trippy and kinda confusing, but what the trailer does right is, I really want to watch this now.

The release date for The Congress is August 29, 2014.

The Strain

After releasing a few teaser clips of basically nothing, we’re finally getting actual glimpses of the characters and storyline of The Strain. Based on Guillermo Del Toro and Chuck Hogan’s book trilogy and directed by Del Toro himself, the trailer shows Corey Stoll (Midnight in Paris, House of Cards), David Bradley (Harry Potter, Game of Thrones), Mía Maestro (Frida, Twilight), and others fighting off victims of a vicious disease (vampirism, though the V-word isn’t explicitly used. Yet.)

Naturally, we don’t get a good look at the big bad monsters in this still very short trailer, but based on what we do see, Del Toro’s vampires are my kind of vampires: grotesque and vicious and legitimately scary.

The Strain premieres on FX on July 13, 2014.

Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel

Fans of the Borderlands series know that Handsome Jack’s best, most obnoxious, and most hilarious character trait is being so goddamn far up his own ass, so it’s no wonder that trait is on full blast for this game trailer. The Pre-Sequel bridges Borderlands and Borderlands 2, and follows Jack’s rise to power. The trailer voiceover gloriously spoofs Percy Bysshe Shelley’s famous sonnet “Ozymandias.” Best line: “LOOK ON MY WORKS, YOU GUYS, AND DESPAIR.”

Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel is now available for pre-order.

Anna

Starring Mark Strong, American Horror Story‘s Taissa Farmiga, and Brian Cox, Anna is an upcoming horror/thriller film in which a preternaturally gifted detective has to determine whether or not a troubled teenage girl – the eponymous Anna – tried to commit a triple homicide. The trailer looks promisingly creepy, even though it does reveal a twist that probably should’ve been saved for the actual film.

Anna will be released in theaters June 6, 2014.

Hemlock Grove

Okay, so these are just tiny six second Vine snippets, but in lieu of an actual trailer (which I’m beginning to think is never going to drop) this is all we Hemlock watchers have to prep for season 2. And they both involve Roman giving into his vampire/upir urges (though I get the feeling the first clip is either a fantasy or a hallucination, otherwise we just got a huge character death spoiler). Is it weird that I’m more disgusted by the leeches than I am by the throat ripping?

All ten episodes of Hemlock Grove season 2 will be released on Netflix on July 11, 2014.