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The Mindy Project 2×15 & 2×16 “French Me, You Idiot”/”Indian BBW” Recap

These last few months without The Mindy Project were pretty much torture for all of us, but it’s finally back! And with two, yes two, new episodes!

“French Me, You Idiot”

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We were left off with Danny planting a beautiful kiss on Mindy and the first episode back picks up directly after that. When they part Danny gives her 3 seconds to decide whether or not the kiss was a mistake. He counts to 3, but she still doesn’t give him any indication on where she stands. He then gives her an extra second, 4, which is when she smiles and they move their making out to the airplane bathroom. It doesn’t go well as Danny accidentally flushes Mindy’s hair down the toilet.

So it seems that they’re now going to officially be a couple, that is, until they’re interrupted outside of Mindy’s apartment by Cliff and Morgan and a mariachi band. This is Cliff’s big romantic gesture to win Mindy back. Danny sees this as his cue to leave, leaving Mindy stuck with Cliff. Although she tries to break up with Cliff, he doesn’t understand what she’s implying, leaving them as a couple once again.

Mindy attempts to get dumped by Cliff by acting crazy: wearing granny pjs and talking on the phone with her psychic while on the toilet. Although Cliff finds it weird, he doesn’t think much of it because he gets the news that his grandmother died. Because he’s so devastated, Cliff ends up spending the night with Mindy.

When Danny hears about Cliff’s grandma’s passing and how Mindy spent the night with Cliff, he gets jealous and asks Mindy to show him where she touched Cliff last night. It was all very innocent, but Danny’s still very jealous despite the fact that Mindy told him he has her heart.

Meanwhile all this is happening, Peter and Deslaurier are assigned to go to a ballet studio to convince the ballerinas to go to their practices. Peter hates ballet, but he’s forced to sit down and watch a 4 hour practice. The only way he can stay awake is by pinching his nipple. He has a freakout about halfway through the performance when one of the ballerinas takes minutes to get from one side of the stage to the other. Guess they both didn’t get their clients.

Mindy, Danny, and Morgan end up going to Cliff’s grandmother’s funeral, in which Mindy has written the eulogy because Cliff was so taken by the email she sent him while on her flight back from LA. Because Danny was the one that actually wrote the beautiful email, which is why the eulogy is filled with pop culture references (Anna Nicole Smith and Kendrick Lamar’s song) and made up words (sadliness). Mindy gets incredibly embarrassed, hiding her face in her hands, but Danny finds this very endearing. He takes her hand in his as Cliff reads, “There’s always one reason more important than any other, that you should just be with that person…because you can’t imagine life without them.”

He pulls her aside and they start making out, but Mindy’s butt ends up tipping over a candle, lighting a part of the church on fire. Outside, she’s forced to tell Cliff that she kissed Danny and she’s pretty sure she has feelings for him. Cliff punches Danny when he sees him and uses his grandmother to curse them and their relationship.

Back at Mindy’s apartment, Danny and Mindy start making out, but stop suddenly when a light ends up exploding. It’s the curse. They both mutter, “Gram.”

Memorable Moments

“I’m the boss. I’m the bo– *falls. I’m the boss!” – Danny

Cliff tipping Danny. WHAT.

“I’m so Catholic, I don’t even trust this new pope!” – Danny

“I don’t care what you say to that giant elephant up there.” – Danny

“Dr. Dan’s Funky Ale” Where can I try one of these?!

“So, were you, like, aroused?” – Danny

“Poor, sweet Cliff. We’re gonna find who did this to her. We’re gonna find who did this to her. You know what we’re gonna do? We’re gonna forgive them. I kissed my grandma so tight on the lips this morning. She said, ‘Get the hell off me.'” – Peter

“What about Bloody Mary?” “The Virgin Mary.” – Mindy and Danny

“Indian BBW”

Now that they’re together, Danny wants to have sex with Mindy, but she wants to take things slow. Danny tells her that any girl in New York would be dying to have sex with him at that moment, prompting him to show her by calling up random girls on his phone and inviting them over. After 25 girls and no luck, Danny receives a call from Vanessa saying she does want to go over, but her “rates have gone up.” Oh.

The next morning, Mindy finds out that Danny’s in the hospital with viral meningitis. She runs to his bedside, but Richie’s already there. Danny ends up introducing her as just his “coworker.” She’s taken aback, but he says that it’s because they aren’t having sex. She brought him “Bridget Jones’ Diary” to read, because that always makes her feel better when she’s sick. She’s suddenly called away by Peter who has news for her.

Peter’s apparently found Mindy and Tom’s girl scout sex tape. Because Mindy doesn’t want Danny to find it, she tries to recruit Peter’s help in taking it down. She tells him that she’s “started hanging out with a really special guy that she’s liked for a long time.” Peter takes pity on her and takes her to see Tom, who agrees to leave the original tape on her desk later that day. But because it’s still online, they have to head over to the porn company, Sploderz.

At the hospital, Danny has a talk with Richie about moving too fast or too slow with Mindy. Danny thinks Mindy wants to go slow in this relationship because she doesn’t really like him. Richie contradicts that and says that it’s probably because Danny’s too judgmental. Danny has to accept that she wants things to go slow.

At Sploderz, the owners, despite Mindy’s pleading, don’t agree to take down her sex tape. It isn’t until Peter mentions Dartmouth that they agree to take it down because they’re also Dartmouth alumnae.

Morgan drops off some of Mindy’s work with Danny because she’s going to spend the night in Danny’s hospital room. In the pile of papers, Danny finds the sex CD that Tom dropped off. Thinking it’s for him, he pops it into his computer. As he’s doing this, Mindy and Peter are making their way upstairs. They end up walking in on Danny watching the sex tape in disgust. He’s completely horrified and starts yelling at Mindy. Peter thinks it’s a bit odd that Danny’s overreacting, until he realizes that the “special guy” Mindy’s seeing is Danny. By this time, Mindy’s in complete sweats and looking very pale. She faints because she ended up getting Danny’s meningitis.

After Peter sees how sad Mindy is and how much she actually likes Danny, he gets Tom to come talk to Danny. Tom tells him that they only had “freaky sex stuff” because Mindy didn’t really like him. They only did these things because they didn’t like hanging out with each other. Peter tells Danny that Mindy “really respects the practice. Maybe she’s even a little bit in love with the practice. Maybe she even wants to get boned by the practice.”

Danny regrets his overreaction and visits Mindy’s hospital room. He tells her that he wants to take the relationship slowly too. The episode ends with Danny reading “Bridget Jones’ Diary” in a British accent, which is now the most adorable thing he’s ever done.

Next week, we’ll also get 2 NEW EPISODES.

Memorable Moments

“He passed out and I was like, ‘Danny, rude. I’m telling you about my weekend.” – Peter

Mr. Neck is adorable.

“Richie, could you go find me the white nurse? He’ll be gone for hours.” – Mindy

“In 1922, our grandfather arrived at Ellis island, took one look at the Statue of Liberty, and thought, ‘I wonder what she’s got going on under there.’ Sploderz was born.”

“We’re all gynecologists in this room.”

“Three hundo thundo?” – Mindy

“Last week I called in a bomb threat because I was too hungover to come in.” – Peter

“Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.” – Peter