in Movies

“Star Wars: Episode VII” Gets an Official Release Date

darth-vader

By Hayley I.

This is not a drill. Set your calendars, program your alarms, and wind up your time machines. We’ve got the actual release date for Star Wars: Episode VII — and boy, is it far, far away.

So where will you be on Friday, December 18, 2015? Assuming we’re all still alive, survivors of the inevitable weather, zombie, or kaiju-related apocalypses, the correct answer is at the movie theater. And sure, two years is a long time to wait, but maybe some vague words of encouragement from Disney chairman Alan Horn will cheer you up:

“We’re very excited to share the official 2015 release date for Star Wars: Episode VII, where it will not only anchor the popular holiday filmgoing season but also ensure our extraordinary filmmaking team has the time needed to deliver a sensational picture.”

Uh, okay. Only a chairman would herald the big screen return of Star Wars with a reminder of its role as a holiday movie season “anchor.”

Anyway, I’m excited. And you should be too, you person of the Internet. Don’t let those naysayers get you down. Anyone can complain. It takes real courage to ignore the past — the blight of Jar Jar, the acting of Anakin, the plotting of a brick…

Be brave, fellow Star Wars fans. December 18, 2015 will be our day. (Unless J.J. Abrams ruins everything, of course.)