My television has the following tagline for this episode: “A woman behind a series of heists holds a troubling secret.” I’m going to bet we won’t find out what that secret is until the last two minutes of the show. Let’s find out if I’m right.
Sergel’s Square – Stockhom, Sweden
Creepy dudes in red masks dressed in the finest suits walk straight through a crowd of people and no one does a thing about it. We follow them to the subway station where they board a train and again, no one says or does anything. This must be an everyday occurrence in Sweden. Someone does notice that each masked man is handcuffed to a briefcase and knocks out the power in the train.
After what looks like a struggle the train stops and terrified people run out screaming. It’s because whomever took the briefcases had to sever the hands attached to the cases in order to steal them. The thief cracks the codes on the case and opens one to reveal a tray of diamonds.
Agent Melinda May a.k.a Agent Badass is back at the helm of the Bus (which if you don’t remember is a giant plane decked out in S.H.I.E.L.D swag). Meanwhile Skye is hiding out in one the cars on the plane because she misses her van. Look Skye, we get it, you used to live in a van where you hacked into super top-secret databases, but now you are surrounded by technology we probably won’t see in real life until I’m about 80 so suck it up and enjoy the ride.
Coulson briefs Skye and Agent Badass on the thief who is stealing diamonds worth millions of dollars. I would have thought that petty robbery would be above S.H.I.E.L.D standards since they mostly deal with superheroes and Norse Gods but I guess not. Skye is on the same page as me since she mentions that S.H.I.E.L.D works with superheroes, so the thief could possibly have ESP and that’s why she has been able to rob 30 million dollars in diamonds.
Agent Badass shoots down that idea since “no credible studies have shown it.”
Minus points for you Agent Badass. Your points are going to Skye because she found a picture of the creepy masked dudes on Instagram and that’s how they are going to find the thief.
Coulson easily IDs the culprit as Agent Akela Amador, played by guest star Pascale Armand, since he is the one who trained her. Agent Akela Amador disappeared from S.H.I.E.L.D seven years ago and Coulson wants to find her without headquarters’ help. Skye mopes about not being a real S.H.I.E.L.D agent yet and compares herself to Agent Thief Amador.
Speaking of Agent Thief, she apparently reads the mind of the man who appears in her hotel room to collect the diamonds that are hidden in dissolvable golf balls. Which is one of the coolest things I’ve seen on this show.
Fitz and Simmons are geeking out in Belarus. Coulson and Ward leave and maintain a low profile by walking around a town in the countryside of Belarus by wearing tuxedos.
I don’t even have ESP and I would know something was up if I saw two finely dressed men walking around a town made up of mostly farmers. Also, I find it hard to believe that everyone is knocking down Skye’s ESP theory just because “science” doesn’t prove it exists, when you have people like Thor and Loki walking around.
Skye hacks into CCTV surveillance only to find out that Agent Thief has stolen a truck and slams it into the short bus …only to let the team go so they all arrive safely back at the bus with no broken bones. Skye unscrambles the footage they got from the short bus and we learn that Agent Thief has a special eye that doubles as a surveillance camera and device that lets her see everything that goes on those CCTV cameras. Apparently the special eye controls her as well and Coulson holds onto that fact in order to stave off contacting HQ.
Skye and Coulson have a nice heartfelt talk about her joining S.H.I.E.L.D and how she believes Agent Thief might not be a bad guy like everyone thinks she is, only for it to be ruined by the line “even though she tried to kill me. I kind of hate her guts for that” as Skye leaves Coulson’s office. You had me going for a second there Marvel. I was actually feeling a little pull on the heartstrings until then.
Coulson goes to check the watch of Agent Thief only to find that Fitz sleeping on the job and Agent Badass is missing. Why is she missing? Because she is being a 100% badass by going to the hotel Agent Thief is staying at to confront her. Agent Thief reveals that whomever is controlling her built in a fail safe that would kill her if Agent Badass were to take her back to S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters to stand trial.
Back from the break, Agent Badass and Agent Thief break out into fight that is so well choreographed I almost cried. Coulson breaks into the room and shoots Agent Thief with some weird neurotoxin that knocks her out.
When she comes to, Coulson tells her that she is safe – they have managed to hack into her feed and connect it to a set of glasses worn by Ward, who will follow the orders being sent while they try to hack into the system controlling the eye.
Apparently Coulson was a real hardass back in the day and I’m 99% sure we will never see or actually hear the details of any of his numerous cases that are being alluded to throughout the show.
Agent Thief recounts her life as a prisoner captured by whoever is behind the weird eye device. Coulson keeps attacking her for information and the only thing significant out of that confrontation is that the handler is British and old.
Fitz and Simmons are in charge of removing the eye from Agent Thief as Ward, aka Agent Special, continues to follow the orders being sent which include seducing the guard protecting the next target.
Excuse me while I literally fall of off my chair due to laughter. Let’s hope he has some “special skills” ready for this one.
I don’t think that an airplane is the most sterile place for eye surgery but Agent Thief insists on doing whatever it takes to remove the device including injecting her own eye with the local anesthetic.
Meanwhile, Agent Special calls in Skye for back up cause he finds it hard to seduce the guard. This whole situation is so hilarious I want to personally thank the writer of the dialogue for this scene. Some great lines include “You’re going to have to bromance him” and “Talk sports, the Victoria Secret catalog.” Agent Special has to ruin all of that by failing to bromance the guard and just knocks him out instead.
He enters the next room only to find two people working on typewriters surrounded by a bunch of science stuff written on massive chalkboards. The mission was to take a photo of one of the boards and the message says “Good Luck” upon completion cause Agent Special didn’t take into account the fact that he would need the guard to get out of the building safely.
Back at the bus Simmons extracts the eye from Agent Thief while they debate how to remove the fail safe without triggering it. Agent Special stupidly looks into a mirror that reveals to the handler that he isn’t Agent Thief.
Agent Badass manages to locate the source of the messages and Coulson confronts the man flashing his S.H.I.E.L.D badge, only for the man to be killed by his own fail-safe.
(I think that the story lines would benefit greatly from stretching into multiple episodes. At this point, there are only seven minutes left in this episode and there are way more questions than answers at this point.)
Which brings us to Agent Thief asking Agent Badass what did they do to Coulson after the battle of New York cause he is acting strangely to her. I’m 99% sure Marvel is saving this answer for the finale, but they could also whip it out for sweeps in November. We shall see.
Fitz and Agent Special are playing poker on the bus and I’m waiting for the big cliffhanger that always happens at the end of these episodes. Instead we get a pretty hilarious encounter in which Fitz and Skye team up and use the technology Agent Thief had implanted in her eye to see Agent Special’s cards.
Skye mentions to Fitz that not only will she able to see Agent Special’s cards but she will see Fitz naked. He folds and runs away embarrassed but Skye puts on the glasses anyways and checks out Agent Special with her x-ray vision.
Written by: Kaylie Bustamante