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‘American Horror Story: Coven’ Episode 3 Recap – “Boy Parts”

“Boy Parts” begins with a Stevie Nicks song and the re-introduction of Misty Day (Lily Rabe), the witch with the power of resurgence who was supposedly burned at the cross.

Turns out she’s very much alive. And she’s not happy with the local alligator hunters. She brings two gators back to life and they end up killing the gators while Misty frolicks away.

Back at Miss Robichaux’s Academy, Cordelia (Sarah Paulson) is waking the girls up for their morning gathering. Madison (Emma Roberts) is as mouthy as ever, while roommate Zoe (Taissa Farmiga) is reading all about Kyle (Evan Peters) – one of the bus crash victims – on the Internet. He’s pretty much a saint in Zoe’s eyes and she feels guilty about what happened. Madison, on the other hand, is very flippant.

In the other room, Fiona (Jessica Lange) has Delphine LaLaurie (Kathy Bates) tied to a chair. She threatens to put her back in the box if she tries to leave. Fiona wants to know how LaLaurie has managed to stay alive all these years. Before Fiona can get answer, Cordelia calls for Fiona to come down for the morning gathering.

Flashback to Detroit 2012: Queenie (Gabourey Sidibe) is working in a fast food restaurant when an angry and rude customer claims that she messed up his order. Queenie is certain that the order was correct and the customer just wants a freebie. Things get heated (literally) after the customer calls Queenie stupid. So Queenie sticks her arm in the boiling oil where the French fries are cooking and the customer’s arm immediately starts to burn.

Back in the present, Queenie is telling the others the story about how she was recruited to Miss Robichaux’s Academy. As usual, Madison makes a bitchy comment that gets Queenie riled up. Just as Cordelia puts a stop to it, a pair of detectives show up. They want to question Zoe and Madison about the bus crash incident.

In Cordelia’s office, the girls manage to keep their cool and answer all of their questions with an innocent enough response. But Zoe cracks when they ask about her entering the hospital and mention the frat kid who died shortly after she left. She admits everything, including the part about everyone being witches.

Thankfully, Fiona arrives to save the day. She compels the two detectives to forget everything and to turn over whatever evidence they’ve collected on Zoe and Madison. She then goes to confront the two young witches. Furious, she uses her powers to slam them against the walls and berates them for their stupidity. Before exiting the bedroom, she makes it clear that the only thing they have to fear is her.

Later, Madison takes Zoe down to the local morgue where Kyle and the other bus crash victims’ body parts are strewn about everywhere. Wanting to pay Zoe back for killing the frat kid in the hospital and to prove Fiona wrong about them, Madison plans to use a resurrection spell to bring Kyle back to life, using his head and the best body parts available to them in the morgue. She tells Zoe to bring her a saw.

Elsewhere, Cordelia and her husband Hank (Josh Hamilton) visit with a doctor who is performing an ultrasound on Cordelia to see if she can get pregnant. Unfortunately, the drugs she’s been taking aren’t working so the doctor proposes in vitro fertilization. Hank asks him to leave the room so he and Cordelia can talk privately. Hank isn’t receptive to the idea of an IVF, but Cordelia refuses to use magic to fix their problem since matters of life and death involve dark magic. Hank accuses her of letting the doctor play God.

Back at the school, Fiona goes to meet with LaLaurie again. This time she’s brought fried chicken and Laurie finally reveals what happened to her. LaLaurie was knocked unconscious after drinking the tea that Marie Laveau gave her. She woke up to find all of her former slaves, who she’d tortured and kept locked up, waiting for her outside her house and carrying torches. LaLaurie is smug that Laveau’s attempt to poison her didn’t work, but that was never Laveau’s intention.

She reveals the hanged bodies of LaLaurie’s family and tells her that the tea she drank was an immortality potion. It’s the worst punishment imaginable for a person like LaLaurie. Now she’s doomed to live forever, to never experience the sweet, merciful release of death and to never to be reunited with her family in the afterlife.

The former slaves proceed to tie LaLaurie up and put her in a coffin, only to be dug up by Fiona hundreds of years later.

Photo: FX

At the morgue, Zoe and Madison have lit candles and are sewing all the body parts together. They read the reincarnation spell over and over again and some spookiness ensues. The lights flicker on and off and the girls scream in terror. Ultimately, however, the spell doesn’t work and Kyle remains dead.

Zoe stays behind while Madison goes to wait for her in the car. When a morgue worker arrives, however, Madison takes off. Zoe is caught immediately but suddenly Kyle rises from the dead, goes crazy, and kills the morgue worker.

Outside of the morgue, Misty Day has appeared.

Fiona, meanwhile, has gone to a black hair salon in one of the poor areas of New Orleans. When Marie Laveau appears from behind the curtain, it’s clear why Fiona is there.

Laveau tells her hairdressers to leave, saying she’ll take care of Fiona herself.

At the school, Nan (Jamie Brewer) is hearing voices. She marches up to Fiona’s room and frees LaLaurie, telling her that she thinks too loud. When Queenie appears, LaLaurie hits her over the head with a candlestick and flees.

Back at the hair salon, Fiona and Marie Laveau face off. Laveau knows that Fiona is a witch. Fiona talks about how her kind and Laveau’s kind have been going after each other for centuries, but she likens it to a hammer going after a nail – the nail being Laveau and her kind. Laveau says that her kind taught Fiona’s kind everything they know. Fiona, however, dismisses Tituba as a simple slave girl. But she was made to be a slave by Fiona’s kind, Laveau says. Before that, she came from the great Arawak tribe. She learned necromancy from a 2000 year old line of shamans and then passed that knowledge on to the girls of Salem, only to be repaid with betrayal. Again, Fiona dismisses Laveau’s words.

Fiona confirms what they both already know – that this owner of a hair salon is actually Voodoo Queen Marie Laveau. Fiona wants immortality, but Laveau refuses, saying that Fiona could offer her unicorns and the only thing she would get in return is a bad headache. Fiona is confident, however, and says that they’ll be meeting again soon.

At the school, Cordelia has given into her husband’s demands. She’s using magic to get pregnant. Snakes are involved as she uses herbs and various material to form a circle in which she and Hank have sex and recite a spell together.

Elsewhere, Zoe is driving the dead morgue worker’s car with a Frankenstein version of Kyle sitting in the passenger seat. Kyle is losing it, when suddenly Misty Day pops her head up from backseat. To properly heal Kyle, she takes them to her place in the Louisiana swamp where Steve Nicks’ “Rhiannon” is playing. Misty is a huge Steve Nicks fan and claims that the singer is a white witch.

Misty is overjoyed to have met Zoe, but Zoe is a little nervous and uncomfortable and says that she should return home.

At the hair salon, Marie Laveau is talking to The Minotaur, her former human lover before LaLaurie brutally killed him. Before unshackling The Minotaur, Laveau mentions that they have some business they need to take care of.

Fiona finds LaLaurie sitting on a bench outside her former home, which is now a historical site. “My home,” LaLaurie says, “Museum of horrors.”

The pair return to the school.

Memorable Quotes

Queenie: I grew up on white girl shit like “Charmed” and “Sabrina the Teenage Cracker”. I didn’t even know there were black witches.

Fiona: Maybe in another century you could have two shithole salons.

Rating: A-

Photo: FX