Imagine a world where the walls separating fictional worlds fade away. Determined owls clutch coveted Hogwarts acceptance letters in their talons, their wings beating through the night to reach far-flung Panem, the Shadow World, Camp Half-Blood, Forks, and Chicago.
Basically, all our favorite (and not-so-favorite) young adult heroines are headed to Hogwarts. Let’s give that weary Sorting Hat a day off, and break down where each precocious lass belongs.
The Hunger Games trilogy
Hogwarts House: Gryffindor
No surprise here, right? Everyone’s favorite “girl on fire” could be Gryffindor’s poster child. If Katniss was any less noble, honorable, and brave, there wouldn’t even be a story. I mean, honestly — no offense, mousey sister of Katniss — but if Prim had served as District 12’s tribute, I think we all know how that would’ve turned out. Badly. Instead, our girl Katniss volunteered as tribute and kicked butt in the Hunger Games.
Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn
Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff
Poor Hufflepuffs often get a bad rap, and unfortunately, I doubt throwing Bella in there will improve the House’s standing. Nevertheless, this human-turned-vampire so deserves to be in Hufflepuff. She’s pretty loyal and nice, and she’s super good at finding things — like love interests, narrow escapes, etc. And once she (spoiler alert) gets a little vamp-baby to call her own, she shows off her protective side, which is another popular Hufflepuff characteristic.
Divergent, Insurgent, Allegiant
Hogwarts House: Slytherin
Let’s all keep in mind that there’s nothing inherently awful about Slytherin. Sure, they had a higher than average Death Eater turnover rate, but that was in Harry Potter land. Over in Tris’ dystopian Chicago, being crafty and sneaky is the name of the game if you want to survive. To be fair, Tris is super brave and Gryffindor-y — which is part of the reason she finds herself in the recklessly brave Dauntless faction — but let’s not forget how focused she is on her own objectives. This pint-sized bad-ass lies to her friends and family like all the time and spends an inordinate amount of time scheming and plotting.
The Mortal Instruments series
Hogwarts House: Slytherin
If Clary ever wandered her way into Hogwarts, I’m pretty sure the Sorting Hat would send her Nephilim/Angel self straight on over to the good ol’ green and purple. She’s smart and nice and brave, but deep down, Clary is rather self-centered… Like in a good way. Sort of. Her stubbornness is just rooted in a desire to get her way, and that’s not always bad, especially when you happen to be right a lot. Of course, when those actions put your friends in danger, it may be good to occasionally reassess.
Percy Jackson & the Olympians
Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw
And then there’s demigoddess Annabeth. While Annabeth embodies a nice mix of humanity and gods’ greatest strengths, there’s only one House this girl could ever be in. With a mom like Athena, she doesn’t really have a choice — unless the Sorting Hat gave her one, but that seems uncommon for kids without lightning bolts on their foreheads. Athena was the goddess of wisdom, and Annabeth clearly takes after her mom. She’s a big architect nut, and her analytical brain is often what gets her and her mythological buddies out of danger.
Honesty, though, we all know Gryffindor is the real house for heroes — Harry, Ron, and Hermione? How do they get all the good ones? — but like real people, our fictional heroines are multifaceted and complex. They’re not just brave. Or conniving. Or smart. They’re all of those things and more — or at least they should be. But then again, even if we can’t ever sort people into tidy personality-based common rooms, it sure is fun to try.
Written by: Hayley Igarashi